Intro: I never considered writing down everything that happened in my life; I am not a writer and I don’t like talking about myself. But my therapist said that I was suffering from depression and with that, I had to write down everything that went on in my life for a week.
One week. That’s all it takes for me to completely lose my mind and end up being committed to some hospital somewhere. Why did I even do this in the first place?
Monday: I wake up and prepare for…who am I fooling? I have no job, I haven’t been to school in a long time, and I don’t have a single friend in the world. Might as well give up and crawl back to bed. The world could function just fine without me.
Tuesday: After sleeping all day yesterday, I look at my room and realize that it’s a huge mess. Clothes and trash were everywhere. With great reluctance, I forced myself out of bed and cleaned up my room. Clothes had to be washed and tons of trash was thrown out. That being done, I slowly crawl back to bed. The world can wait.
Wednesday: I get up and realize that I am famished. Days of starvation are starting to take its toll on me. When I went to the kitchen, I knew why I hadn’t eaten: there was very little food left in the refrigerator and the pantry. I hadn’t gone out to buy food in nearly three weeks. I know that my parents will be very upset to know that I’ve gone hungry for three weeks and I said nary a word to them. I also found out that the kitchen was very dirty, so I washed all the dishes and cleaned the floors and counters until everything sparkled clean. I then had to take a bath, as I hadn’t washed in three weeks.
Thursday: After two days of cleaning, I knew that I had to take care of the living room, as there was so much trash and junk in it. The bookshelves were gathering dust and the TV no longer worked. With some difficulty, I cleaned up the living room and then took the TV to the local e-dump that was on the corner of the street. I didn’t have time to worry about if I wanted to sleep or not; I needed to take care of myself.
Friday: I wake up and looking around at my now-clean place, I had no desire to crawl back into bed and sleep. I wanted to read today, so I did.
Saturday: My parents came over with groceries and clean clothes, but my mother told me that I really needed to find a decent job and to stop seeing my therapist. She says that there is nothing wrong with me and that I’m just making it all up. My dad said that I just needed to take my life one day at a time.
Sunday: I go off to church, and scores of people told me that they hadn’t seen me in a few months. Most of them were praying that I would return. The pastor himself told me that there was a support group for people who were generally depressed and that I should join them. I soon began wondering, should I join the group and fire my therapist, or should I keep seeing my therapist?
Conclusion: I handed over my notes to the therapist and she read them. She shook her head, saying that I needed to keep with the appointments, as she needed the money. I don’t think I need her anymore, and I tell her that. I just needed to go over the reason why my life was spiraling downward and then get out of my house and find people.
Turns out, the world needed me and I needed to live in the world.
Well, that’s my life in a week. If you find yourself unhappy, take a look at yourself and realize that either you’re the reason why you’re depressed, or someone is telling you things about you that aren’t true.
- Lost (withjustabitofmagic.com)
- The Silver Lining of Depression. A View From The Trenches. (reclusiverachel.wordpress.com)
- Let’s Blame the Mother (secondverse.net)
- Being “not okay” is okay (smomeyers.wordpress.com)
- Do This Every Day (theadoptivemomblog.wordpress.com)
- (Mydisorderlylife) Overcoming Anxiety and Depression! (getoffmynervesforever.wordpress.com)
- Depression is Real (kipper42.wordpress.com)