On September 11, 2001, as the world watched the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York, two very small girls watched as the attacks took the lives of their parents. (Even if we somehow found out the truth about the deaths of Logan Dara and Andrea Marshall a few years ago.) An entire nation watched as the girls (along with Anastasia’s sister Consuelo and Treasure’s brothers Homer, Lancel, and David and their older cousins Lysander and Margaret Michaelson) grow up, we at the Stale Grapes News Magazine have followed the girls since they were four and three years old. Now 19 and 18, Anastasia and Treasure are currently students at Princeton University. On the 15th anniversary of September 11, 2001 attacks, we have caught up to them to get their perspective on the infamous day.
Me: It’s good to see you guys again.
Anastasia Marshall: Well, I’m glad that you’re doing this interview.
Treasure Dara: I still wonder why people are so obsessed with the September 11th attacks. It’s not like our parents had anything to do with it.
Me: Let’s cut to the chase. How have you girls been doing since your last interview?
Anastasia Marshall: You mean it’s been five years since we were last interviewed by this magazine? For shame.
Treasure Dara: You would think if America was more interested in us more than the Kardashian sisters, they would demand that we’d have our own reality TV show.
Anastasia Marshall: Maybe we should call Kim up and ask her to help us design our show.
Me: Whatever. So, the entire nation is dying to know, how have you girls been doing since the last interview?
Treasure Dara: Well, we’re not telling you anything.
Anastasia Marshall: If you’d like to know, we’ve graduated from Oak Park High School in 2014 and we are now going to Princeton University.
Treasure Dara: I’m majoring in graphic design and Anastasia has chosen psychology.
Me: Well, that’s interesting. I was half hoping that you girls would go with acting.
Anastasia Marshall: We do…when the price is right. But right now, we’re focusing on our education. If you want to read any wild stories about us, try the tabloids.
Treasure Dara: Which you can’t, because the Twang-Shaio Bill of 2013 has officially banned tabloids after actress Darlene Larry sued Portrait Magazine for libel after the magazine printed an article claiming that she was an alien from the planet Foyzuno.
Anastasia Marshall: She nearly destroyed that magazine.
Treasure Dara: After that, all tabloids were shut down and even the Stale Grapes News was temporarily show down. All satirical news sites were investigated.
Anastasia Marshall: And Darlene’s acting career was destroyed in that onslaught.
Me: Well, that’s impressive. But what I’d like to know is, why are you calling yourself Anastasia Marshall?
Anastasia Marshall: Well, in 2005, my grandparents decided to change my last name to Marshall, as they blamed my father for my mother’s death. When the Elan family objected, my grandfather appealed to the public and the next year, when I turned 10, my sister Consuelo and I were given the name Marshall, which was our mother’s maiden name. I’ve been using that name since.
Treasure Dara: And I’m sure you’ve heard about when my mother and stepfather got divorced.
Me: Can’t say I have. That was quite a scandal, wasn’t it?
Treasure Dara: Yup.
Anastasia Marshall: Can’t forget about that, or can we?
Me: Well, I must say it’s great to finally meet with you guys and get the scoop of what’s going on since the world first knew your names.
Anastasia Marshall: Thank you.