“I blame my no-good idiotic great-uncle Branislav for this,” Sean snarled as a nurse asked him about the bump in his belly. His sisters Shannon and Joanna rushed him to the hospital upon hearing him scream as he fell down the stairs. (Thankfully, his children Evolet, Jaden, Candice, and Justin weren’t at home when the fall happened.)
“What are you talking about?” said the nurse.
“According to my father, my grandfather’s brother Bran was gay and he often fought with his family because of his homosexuality,” said Sean. “In fact, Bran used an ancient Ainysian spell to conceive children; that spell was banned when daughters started being born and Ainysian men started marrying those daughters.”
“And what is that Ainysian spell, I wonder,” said the nurse.
“Well, while I can’t tell you everything, I will say that when our ancestors were first formed, they came from gay couples,” said Sean. “The Atlantean gods were furious when they found that out and they sought to destroy the Ainysians. But several Ainysian families escaped from that destruction and came to Earth, hoping to begin a new life. Also, the younger Ainysians began practicing marriage, which they were influenced by what they saw earth couples doing, so there was no need for that spell.”
“And your great-uncle?” said the nurse. “What did he do?”
“Oh, he ruined nearly 3,000 years of abstainity when he used that spell to conceive children,” said Sean. “Now his stupidity has affected my father and me, as we both went through the same thing. But I know I’m not gay, so why is this happening to me?”
The nurse stared at him with a confused look on her face.