Toy Time  

“You cheated, Susie!” Humphrey snapped as he saw Susie and Tierra gather the squares to their side of the board. The toys were playing “Lord of the Rings” Trivial Pursuit; so far, Susie and Tierra were beating the other teams, which consisted of Ryan and Leroy, Kerry and Bella, and Humphrey. “Why are you doing that??”

“Too bad you don’t have any teammates,” Susie mocked him.

“And you just had to have the genius on your team,” Humphrey yelled.

“Because Tierra is better than you,” Susie said as the other toys laughed. “Plus, she knows more Lord of the Rings than you do.”

“Face it, Humphrey, you’re never going to win,” said Kerry. “You never watched the Lord of the Rings movies, so what makes you think you know more about it than Tierra does?”

“I saw the Ralph Bashir edition of Lord of the Rings,” said Ryan.

“Who cares!” said Kerry. “Plus, Ralph Bashir’s version of the Lord of the Rings sucks! How dare you bring that up while we’re dealing with Peter Jackson’s version of the Lord of the Rings?”

“Besides, Peter’s Jackson’s version of Lord of the Rings is better,” said Tierra.

“Much better,” said Leroy.

“Anyway, give it up, Humphrey,” said Susie as she glared at him. “You’re not going to win! You might as well give up now if you know what’s good for you!”

“But that’s no fair!” said Humphrey. “I’m the biggest toy in the room, so why are you guys picking on me?”

“Because you’re more annoying than the Annoying Orange,” said Tierra.

“Hey, that’s insulting, and hurtful!” said Humphrey.

“Need I remind you about the Show Stealers?” said Leroy.

“What about them?” said Bella.

“Never mind,” said Susie. “They were rude and nasty until Humphrey kicked them out. Now are we going to finish the game or not?”


Nuclear Spritualism

We have been on the run for the last three years. I don’t know exactly what happened, but Michael and I have been running around Canada, never settling down, or building friendships with the local people. I know we should stop running, but we can’t. Not when our lives were in danger.

It all began when Michael and I first started dating. We were sitting in a bar when Michael noticed two men at a nearby table sneaking glances at us. We didn’t say much about it, bit when the waitress brought out our drinks, she had given us a message that she had written on a napkin.


With that, Michael grabbed my hand and we fled from the bar and straight to his car. Within a few minutes, we were on the highway, with the two strange men chasing us in a Volvo. I turned to Michael and said, “What’s going on?”

Michael said, “Well, I was a secret agent who broke up a gay sex ring three years ago. Those two men chasing us were part of the ring, and they’re here to stop us.”

I gasped, wondering why those men were chasing us. Michael didn’t say much, but he knew what he did was very dangerous and could possibly get him killed. To make a long story short, we were on the run, and we couldn’t stop running until the two men chasing us were either dead or in jail.

Hardcore Humility

He should have been lucky I was so tired. If I was fully awake, I would have pushed him off the roof and possibly killed him.

Well, I don’t even know how I got onto the roof, let alone confronted him. But I knew something had to be happening, or I wouldn’t be here.

“What happened?” I snapped as I saw him.

He said, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. You remember Paul Colbert?”

“How could I not?” I snapped. “He was always flirting with the boys and being cruel to all the girls. Why? What happened to him?”

“Rumor has it that some guy had enough of him flirting with him and he pushed him off the cliff in Big Sur,” he said.

“You’re kidding, right?” I said.

“Paul is dead, or if not, he’s close to it,” he said. “And they funny thing is that no one’s shedding any tears over him.”

“Maybe he got what he deserved,” I said.

“Maybe,” he said.

“So, why are you here?” I said.

“Paul’s sister is angry with me because I chose to date Dorothy instead of him,” he said. “In fact, she’s been harassing me for a while.”

“I can’t believe her,” I said. “Is she really that messed up in the head? What girl wants her brother to date a boy?”

“Sally,” he said.

I shook my head, knowing that Sally had some explaining to do…

Gay Ignorance

In a time where tolerance of sins and moral depravity was the thing, one man sought to turn his life around.

He knew it wasn’t easy, as people told him that there was nothing wrong with being gay and that it was acceptable to be gay, but those people didn’t understand his pain. They didn’t understand how he was filled with self-loathing and anger. He was angry that he had disappointed his parents by claiming himself as gay.

How ignorant can the public be, he thought to himself as he sat outside the cafe, watching the world go by. How much longer can this last? He knew a huge balloon of objectiveness was growing, the balloon symbolizing the objections to the moral depravity. He knew that many people wanted to see him be punished for his moral sins, but how could he face punishment when he wanted to change his ways?

Diversity Will Get You Everywhere

So, what’s the big deal with diversity?

It’s everywhere, which makes me feel nervous. It’s like everyone’s turning it into a game to see how diverse you can be.

Diversity is not a game.

Diversity is the number of people who are diverse in terms of ethnicity, gender, and something else; I don’t know what it is. But the way people are using diversity nowadays is insulting.

And I don’t like insulting things.

Just the other day, this girl decided to identify as a male wolf. Everyone just rolled their eyes at her, thinking that she was just making up something. I was so angry that I slapped her and told her that she was a human girl, so she’d better act like one.

See? Diversity is not a game. So let’s all quit making up stuff about ourselves and truly embrace what diversity really is, OK?

Pulling The Plug On Pride

They say pride goes before a fall.

I used to think those words were stupid, as if you could fall because of pride. But I really should have paid attention to the fine print, as me attending a parade promoting homosexuality ultimately cost me everything.

Because I attended the parade, I lost my job, I was kicked out of my apartment, and my family and friends stopped speaking to me. I was now homeless living on the streets, all because I failed to heed the warning. Well, I should have stayed home instead of attending the parade.

Pride goes before a fall.

And I have certainly fallen.

Token Heat

I’ve heard many people telling stories about what happens when you want to change your ways. I believed that once you’re gay, you’re always going to be gay. There’s no getting around it. You can’t get rid of it, nor can you pretend it never happened. You’re stuck in it, for better or for worse.

Then I learned that homosexuality was not God’s plan for humankind, and he punished such homosexual behaviors according to his word. Right now, I was being punished for breaking God’s rules.

What can I do to make him not be angry with me? I have tried liking women, but I failed. It’s not their fault I couldn’t date them. My mom has long given up on becoming a grandparent, and I’m sure my brothers and their children don’t want me in their lives.

Yet, can you change your ways?

I say, yes you should. Anyone can change who they are; they don’t have to live that messed-up, broken life. They can change by the will of god. God will never say no to a heart willing to change.

Yet, will he say no to mine, knowing what I’ve done in the past?