We’re Sick & Tired of Potter (Parody of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire”)

anti-Harry Potter stamp (Photo credit: claireviolet82)

James & Lily Potter, babies with lightning-bolt scars / Lord Voldemort, Dumbledore hands a baby to relatives / Wizards, magic, terror everywhere / innocent man is sent to Azkaban / abusive relatives, fat boys with pig’s tails / snakes escaping from encasements, magic everywhere / Hagrid, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, shopping in Diagon Alley / Dark Lord comes to the house and kills his parents, being declared the Boy-Who-Lived, here we go

Chorus: We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it / We’re sick and tired of Potter / 9-11 started it, we need to stop it

King’s Cross, 9 and 3/4, red-haired family / Hogwarts Express, meeting Ron & Hermione / trip to Hogwarts, student sorting, Gryffindor / Quidditch, fighting trolls /invisibility cloaks, Mirror of Erised / meeting Dumbledore, this seems fun / sorcerer’s stone, Nicolas Flamel / 3rd floor corridor, facing Quirrell

Chorus: We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it / We’re sick and tired of Potter / there’s other books that we should be reading

Chamber of Secrets, Ginny Weasley, flying cars, crazy house-elves / Malfoy, Gilderoy Lockhart never seemed to be the right choice / strange voices, petrified people, muggleborns must go home / Tom Riddle, basilisk, freeing Dobby / Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, werewolves, rats, and traitors / Goblets of Fire, foreign wizard schools, Cedric Diggory / Lord Voldemort returns, like didn’t they get rid of him in the first book?

Chorus: We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it / We’re sick and tired of Potter / where are those Christian books when we need them?

Dementors, Howlers, Ministry of Magic, / Order of the Phoenix / evil teacher, evil spreads, prophecy is foretold / London attacked, muggles frightened, what are we to do / half-blood prince, secret pasts, things get worse / Dumbledore gets zapped to death, he really had it coming

Chorus: We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it / We’re sick and tired of Potter / it has gone on for way too long now

witchcraft, wizardry, the claim that magic is harmless, people just don’t want God in / deathly hallows, Harry’s now of age, attacks get worse, people die / Harry’s in hiding, hostages at Hogwarts, Neville Longbottom becomes a hero / big epic fight, scores of wizards die, Harry faces Voldie, wins the day /Dumbledore turned out to be gay, was in league with Grindelwald, / 19 years later, sends his kids to Hogwarts / one kid named Albus-Severus, I can’t take this crap anymore

Chorus: We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it / We’re sick and tired of Potter / it’s too old now, can we have something new? We’re sick and tired of Potter / we didn’t ask for it, we’re trying to end it

We’re sick and tired of Potter / na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na
We’re sick and tired of Potter / na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na
We’re sick and tired of Potter / na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na
We’re sick and tired of Potter / na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na
We’re sick and tired of Potter / na-na-na-na-na-na na-na-na-na-na-na
(repeat until fade)

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